Thursday, May 19, 2011

Secondary Benefits = No True Benefit

By Melissa Reese

Our mind is so powerful.  We know how to heal ourselves, it's integrating that connection in order to feel safe doing it.  Any and all changes we make are of our own doing, anyone else involved is simply a wonderful guide that can help us to stumble upon our own awareness, our strongest self, and a place that holds more power and imagination than we could ever quantify; it's our subconscious mind.

We are so capable of thinking ourselves in to being "sick" and we are so capable of thinking ourselves out of being "sick".  The key is to find the root, the core of what we hold on to as still being "good for us".  There is this thing called a secondary benefit; although, it's usually not a benefit at all.  It is a reason, a false truth/belief that we develope or create and then hold on to because some part of us sees it as a safety net or protection.  This secondary benefit is what can keep you sick or in a state of being that you "think" you want to be out of or done with.  One example is someone with a chronic illness.  They think, "I'm ready to be done with this" or "I'm ready to be over this".  They change their diet, utilize different types of therapy, and yet they continue to hold on to the illness or state, or suffer from it and really do not get any better.  Usually this is due to the fact that they perceive, deep down, that they will not get the same treatment from others when they are well.  Maybe they won't be waited on, they won't get to move to the front of the line, or people won't "care" as much about them.  These thoughts or feelings are not necessarily conscious thoughts or feelings all the time.  Sometimes these are the core, the root and they're not even aware.  These are the things holding them back.  People around them want nothing more than for them to truly be better, and on some level the person does want this, but only at a surface level.  In order for a person to move past the secondary benefit they need to see it and be aware of the root cause.  They have to want to be better at all levels in order to positively move forward.  As strange as it is, some will take moving to the front of the line over being free of pain or the ability to walk.  Another example of a secondary benefit has do due with weight.

Some people strive and work so hard at losing weight or to be at an optimal weight.  Most say they would do anything to get rid of the unwanted pounds, but deeper down something else is saying, "mmmm, no thanks".  One reason for this "no thank you" opposition could be that the person has experienced some sort of trauma or very significant event(s) and a part of them developed a belief that the weight is some sort of protection.  One example is serious sexual misconduct/abuse.  This is not always the case, but just one example, another is serious verbal abuse.  A person wants the weight gone, but the secondary benefit is later realized after the unsuccessful shedding of pounds.  The person realizes they don't want to become more attractive or thinner because they feel, deeper down, that they will somehow attract negativity again.  Though they "know" it was NOT their fault that someone else made a very bad decision, there is still that feeling of needing to protect what they have in some way.  So, at a deeper level they decided that weight equaled safety in some way.

This "deeper down" that I keep referring to is our subconscious mind.  Making positive changes at this level is where we can let go of these secondary benefits.  Our subconscious mind is every memory, thought, or occurrence we have ever experienced, from the time of conception.  It is also our moral code, our higher self and our true deep-down knowing.  Our subconscious mind is what keeps us safe and it's also what can free us.  Getting past the critical factor is the key to the core.  There is a mind, body, spirit connection (whatever "spirit" you believe in), and Hypnotherapy can help us integrate these connections on all levels so that we chose to access and utilize what we really do know.  What we really do know, is how to heal ourselves!